Posted by Stephanie on December 30, 2003 at 08:09:54:
In Reply to: What's best for the child? posted by Ashley on December 28, 2003 at 11:47:32:
I think you have a good attitude. The point is and should be what is best for the child. But I don't think everybody can always create the best possible situation for their children and I'm not sure if the answer is not to have children but keeping that priority in mind when making decisions and choices is a great idea (and not one that people consciously don't undertake but sometimes other considerations as well as the norm of hiring lots of child care can get in the way). To the extent that parents and especially women can it is best to map out what you want to have happen so that it can happen, and it sounds like you and your husband did that. It doesn't matter whether you call it "negotiation" or discussion or just talk, we need to find compatible partners so we can parent well together (assuming we are lucky enough to do things this way and though not politically correct to say so two-parent families do better). Lots of men wouldn't want to have the pressure of being the sole breadwinner(and sometimes they can't through no fault of their own), particularly when kids grow to school age and you and your husband were smart to talk about what you wanted before you got married. As long as we keep our eye on what's best for the children and reserve judgment of others who find different paths, there's lots of room for different solutions and choices that can benefit children.