Posted by Reality Guy on November 06, 2003 at 12:12:48:
I think the actual question was why do women who work full-time outside the home still do most of the work at home. (Not whether they SHOULD work, or whether the government should pay for someone like my sister -- whose husband makes $500,000 a year -- to stay home.)
The answer, I think, is that it is a learned behavior. Men have learned that their job is to watch football and take out the trash and maybe rile up the kids with some rough play when he gets home. Women have seen their mothers and their older siblings and their friends do the house work -- and probably do a good job of doing it.
Back when I lived on the farm, the men did the farm work (outside) and the women did all of the other work (around the house and inside). There is a lot of carry over from that paradigm. Note how men will barbeque and mow the lawn(outside) but will not cook or clean(inside).
Society (and apparently those who conduct "research" on the topic) looks up to stay at home moms, but tends to look down on stay at home dads. Women are assumed to be competent; men are assumed to be hopeless. I mean, look at a TV show like "Everybody Loves Raymond." #1 comedy show in America some weeks. Portrayal of father -- incompetent boob. The Simpsons -- same. Home Improvement -- same. 8 Simple Rules -- same (god bless John Ritter's soul). According to Jim -- same.
So, both history and the environment we all live in STRONGLY suggest to us that women are competent at doing things around the house and men are not. This is an easy stereotype for us guys to embrace and use to get out of work. Deliberate incompetence got us out of housework growing up, why shouldn't we continue to use it?
The only way to "fix" it is to reject the stereotype and train the guy to do household chores/tasks. Make a list and require that it be done.
If that fails, then I suggest a direct "sex to work" ratio. Quid pro quo will work with any guy that I know. If it does not, your marriage may have more problems than house work.
RG
P.S. -- I know you all missed me.