Posted by lindes on November 05, 2003 at 19:59:34:
In Reply to: Re: It just happens posted by New Mom on November 02, 2003 at 10:09:04:
Oh, I absolutely agree about different situations, as well as the "cold moms" - in my research over the past couple of years, I find it amazing how so many mothers have become self-serving and indifferent. I don't know what's happened to women. My thought is that if a woman intends on handing over her newborn baby to some daycare worker or a relative while she spends the majority of her time away from home, why have a baby in the first place? From early in the morning until well after 6:00 in the evening, a woman with a career outside the home must focus on the responsibilities entailed in that job, and there's simply no way that she can be a full-time mother. Motherhood, because it is a real career, requires more focus and dedication than any other job. An astounding number of women don't understand that, and seem to view parenthood in a rather callous and insensitive manner. I don't understand it, but what I DO understand is the negative impact it's having on all of society. Kids really are paying the price for the indifference and insensitivity shown by their parents AND for society having established unreasonable economic standards that have propelled couples to believe they must have two-incomes to live well.
Parenthood requires total dedication by both mother and father. Yes, it’s great if both parents are involved and share; I'm very much a feminist in that I don't think any woman should be subservient to a male or should be expected to do all the work in a relationship. But I'm still old-fashioned enough to believe that mothers are (make that “should be”) more nurturing, which isn't so today. Therefore, I think ideally, it would be nice if moms were home full-time, dads were the primary income earner, and children had a strong sense of emotional security.
BTW, it doesn’t matter what T. Berry Brazelton or any other “expert” thinks – it sounds to me like you’re not altogether willing to be a full-time mother. I would ask any woman who's had a baby and doesn't want to be a full-time mom, why should had a child. And what's so wrong with being the "female?" People spend so darn much time worrying about labels, titles, and expert advice, that they forget about something called good old common sense and about natural maternal instincts.