Posted by New Mom on November 02, 2003 at 10:09:04:
In Reply to: Re: It just happens posted by lindes on November 02, 2003 at 00:47:01:
No, I wasn't "the female" before. I was the equal partner and there was little difference between us that was not personality or time related.
Of course things should change when you have a baby, but in my worldview, they should change for my husband too. As for whether there's room for selfishness, there I am conflicted. T. Berry Brazelton says some degree of healthy selfishness is good. I need to retain some of my self and if all my life is giving to others, I get tired and cranky.
I actually like the Mommy Trap solution, which gives both parents a chance to work and take care of their children, but we have not hashed that arrangement out yet. I've seen some wonderful Dads out there and some cold Moms so I can't say that good parenting belongs to either sex. Everybody is a little bit different, and has a different situation, don't you think?