Resources

Before Getting Married

• Susan Piver, The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do," (New York: Putnam, 2000).

  Consider Doing a Pre-marital Inventory

• PREPARE Life Innovations, Inc.
• FOCCUS (for Christians - some emphasis on religion) talk to your church or search on-line for closest contact point

Before Getting Pregnant or Having Children

• Pamela Jordan, Scott M. Stanley, Howard J. Markman, Becoming Parents: How To Strengthen Your Marriage As Your Family Grows, (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass Publishers 1999). Contains an active listening dialogue guide, complete with steps and exercises, as well.
• Jay Belsky, PH.D. and John Kelly, The Transition to Parenthood: How a First Child Changes a Marriage Why Some Couples Grow Closer and Others Apart (Delacorte Press, 1994).
• Carolyn Pape Cowan, Philip A. Cowan, The Landmark Ten-Year Study, When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples (BasicBooks 1992).

Childcare

• Post-partum doulas
  Check locally, or look through
  National Association of Postpartum Care Services
  800 Detroit Street, Denver, CO 80206
  1-800-45-DOULA
• Look for NAEYC (The National Association For The Education of Young Children) accreditation of early learning centers, daycare programs, and preschools; and information about quality childcare and related matters.
• The Study Of Children In Family Child Care And Relative Care Highlights Of Findings (Families and Work Institute, 1994). To order, call the Families and Work Institute (212) 465-2044, fax (212) 465-8637.
• Cost, Quality, & Child Outcomes Study Team Executive Summary (1995) Denver, CO: Department of Economics, University of Colorado at Denver. $10.00. To order, send your name and address, along with a check or money order payable to "Cost & Quality Study," to Cost, Quality, and Child Outcomes Study, Economics Department, campus Box 159 P.O. Box 173364, University of Colorado at Denver, Denver CO 80217-3364. Phone: (303) 556-4934.
• Summary of NICHD Study of Nonmaternal care.

Negotiation

• Roger Fisher and William Ury, Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Second Edition, (New York: Penguin Books, 1991).
• Rhona Mahony, Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power (New York, BasicBooks, 1995).
• Betty Carter, M.S.W. with Joan K. Peters, Love, Honor & Negotiate: Building Partnerships That Last A Lifetime, (Pocket Books, New York, 1996).

Marriage Skills and Counselors

• Smart Marriages (information clearing house and a great starting point)
• The Institute for Image Relationship Theory for Harville Hendrix imago certified therapists and Getting the Love You Want Workshops
• ENRICH Life Innovations, Inc. [PREPARE for married folks]
  [REFOCCUS if you are Christian and religious]
• John Gottman, Ph.D., Why Marriages Succeed or Fail . . . And How You Can Make Yours Last (New York: Fireside, 1994).
• Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., Getting The Love You Want: A Guide For Couples (USA: HarperPerennial 1988)
  (exercises and guide for dialogue)
• Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. Keeping The Love You Find: A Personal Guide (New York: Pocket Books, 1992)

Miscellaneous

• Zero To Three for information about childcare, child development, and fathers' influence
• Check out the Household Task Analysis.
• For information on the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA)
• "A Call to Commitment: Fathers' Involvement In Children's Learning," a free Department of Education publication outlines the benefits of and gives specific suggestions for daily paternal involvement. Download PDF | View Online

On the Web

• 

• Rewarding Moms at home
• For the best commentary, essays, and writing about mothers, women and feminism, read MOTHERS WHO THINK at salon.com
• Thoughtful, timely and interactive.Subscribe to Salon Premium today.
• For up to date information and commentary about involved fathers. www.rebeldad.com

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